My family became hooked on the TV show "America's Got Talent" last summer, so we were excited to watch this summer's installment. The show itself has been fine and about what you would expect....lots of bad talent (who tells these people that they should audition??) and some surprisingly great talent. BUT....during this show, a commercial appeared for a new fall reality show called "The Baby Borrowers."
It seems to be a show where teens "borrow" babies to see what parenthood is really like. (Who lends their babies to such a show??!) The commercial started by showcasing teen couples who said things like, "I just love babies", or "I don't think it's hard (to parent)" or "I can't wait to be a mom". Then it cuts to shots of babies screaming, crying and projectile vomiting while the teens melt down. THEN... text appears across the screen as the announcer states, "It's not TV, it's birth control!" That is the precise moment my blood started to boil.
Many people believe that programs such as this, or the mechanical baby project in Jr. high school are great deterrents to teenage pregnancy...perhaps not by promoting abstinence, respect of self and others, or appropriate relationship dynamics, but by making darned sure that these kids use birth control/protection/"safe sex"...after all we don't want them to "ruin" their lives by getting pregnant. Programs such as these send the message that babies are bad, too much work, too expensive, and tie you down. It says that these teens are "worth too much" and "too important" to have their lives impacted so negatively by a baby. It reflects the self-absorbed mentality that permeates our society..."how will this affect
me?"
Jennifer F., writing on her blog ,
"Et tu?", about her conversion experience, describes her (previously) pro-choice mentality:
"
The way I'd always seen it, the standard position was that babies were a horrible burden, except for a couple times in life when everything is perfect enough that a couple might temporarily see new life as a good thing; " For the rest of Jennifer's excellent article, go
here.The viewpoint that Jennifer describes is what is being taught, formally or informally, in our schools, legislature and society at large. These are the roots of the "Culture of Death" our dear pope, John Paul II, spoke of. When new life is seen as the "enemy", it is an easy journey down the slippery slope to abortion, disrespect for all human life and the culture of death.
This viewpoint is flawed because it does not recognize a basic truth. Once a child has been conceived, the new mother's first responsibility is the welfare of her baby. It is no longer "all about me." This is the first and most basic change that must take place in a new mom's heart. For me, this was definitely a new way of thinking. I remember my heart feeling like it was flayed wide open with a love so powerful it hurt, when my firstborn entered the world. I believe our Lord used this event to completely change my heart (Thank you, Jesus!). I was a recent convert to Catholicism and grew up with the mentality described above. In an instant my heart was completely and totally changed; not so, my brain. The day to day dying to self began to happen, and I struggled. Not with my love of my baby, but with letting go of habits and ways of being, thinking and acting that conflicted with this new attitude of my heart. It can be a difficult transition.
When we teach our young people that babies are their enemies, we do not prepare them to make this transition in their hearts. We do not prepare them for the routine and lovingly made sacrifices that proper parenting requires (sacrifices that benefit the parents as much or more than the child they are made for). We do not prepare them for parenthood at all. We prepare them to avoid parenthood and anything else that might require self-sacrifice. Our culture and our world need better parents, not more selfish ones.
Certainly, a teenage girl becoming pregnant is a serious situation, and she needs to consider her own future, but I believe better decisions will be made for both mother and baby if we, as a society and as individuals, come to recognize that all human life is precious. Rather than generating fear and disdain of new life, we need to encourage respect and awe. New life is not to be avoided because it is bad, but because it is such a magnificent gift...a gift that we should only accept when we are able to nurture, support and cherish it accordingly. New life, whether a couple's first or fourteenth child, is always a miracle, always a gift, always a blessing and ALWAYS wanted...if not by the biological parents then by eager adoptive parents and most certainly by God. As opposed to seeing the baby as an intrusion into its mother's life, that needs to be "gotten rid of", the baby should be seen as a unique, unrepeatable gift from God who needs to be protected and provided for.
When we change this thought process around, and change our questions from, "How will this affect
me?" to "How can I best fulfill my responsibility to this new life?", then, and only then, will our culture begin the slow ascent back up that slippery slope from death to respect and reverence for life.
