60 years

"Pit" is my dad's nickname...it is some sort of French Canadian word that means "little one" or "baby."
I studied French in high school and college, but I can't figure it out...it must be slang or something

The anniversary party for my parents was quite nice.  They knew about it, but still seemed so pleased to celebrate with their family and friends.  My dad even played his guitar!  Funny, when I was young and living at home, he would play and sing in the basement every Sunday...all day.  It became something I...ummmm...didn't look forward to.  But, after a space of about 24 years, it was really nice to hear him play and sing again:) 

Sadly, we have lost some of my parents' siblings since we celebrated their 50th anniversary.  Dad has lost 2 brothers, and my Mom has only one sister left out of 5 siblings.  Even sadder, was the fact that one of my uncles got married the week after my mom and dad. He died 6 years ago.  My aunt, his widow, came to the party tonight...my heart hurt for her.  Their 60th anniversary would have been this Thursday.

Mom and Dad with 3 of Dad's remaining 4 siblings



One thing I have experienced is the feeling of awe when I see the legacy these long marriages have trailing along behind them.  Whether it is the funeral of someone who has been in a long-term marriage, an anniversary celebration or what have you,  seeing the families and the lives these two people, this married unit, this "one flesh" have touched over the years impresses upon me a sense of responsibility and wonder.
Marriage is so much bigger than the two people it unites.  When marriages last, their influence on the people around them extends out like ripples in a pond.  Love, commitment, endurance patience, persistence, stability...these virtues spread out to the surrounding community.  Similarly, when a divorce occurs, the qualities that characterize divorce are spread also.  Divorce, also, is bigger than the two people in the marriage. 
I look at my parents, aunts and uncles and know that their lives and marriages have not always been easy. But, they stuck with each other, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and the rewards have multiplied exponentially over the years.  Good begets good, virtue begets virtue.  And it is beautiful.

It's been a while...

I have considered giving up my blog.  But, I don't want to.  I am having a hard time finding time to write these days, but nonetheless, I want to keep trying to occupy this space with something meaningful.  Right now, though, I think I will just do a quick catch-up. 
*  I am working on a post comparing homeschooling to regular schooling....I've got an "insider's view" now, and new perspective I want to share.

* We spent last weekend in Steubenville, Ohio with college girl on paren'ts weekend.  She celebrated her 21st birthday a few days before.  It was so good to see her and, as always, fantastic to be back in that passionately Catholic atmosphere. 

* While in Steubenville, we attended Mass downtown and heard the BEST pro-life homily EVER!!!  This elderly priest dissected Roe V. Wade (he was a lawyer and did a paper on this faulty legislation!), pointed out that only the Catholic Church insisted that an increase in contraception would lead to an increase in abortion, NOT a decrease as is commonly thought, and this dear man left no doubt in our minds as to whether it is ever OK for a Catholic to vote for a pro-choice candidate.  He was forceful, loving, and very intelligent.  I wanted to stand up and cheer, but I settled for just thanking him for his words.  God bless him.

* This weekend, back here at home, we had a visiting priest who encouraged everyone to "come to the table of Our Lord....even if you haven't been a for a while....yes, I know there are rules, but say an Act of Contrition and get to confession ASAP....there are loopholes..."  Yeah, so not cool.  Pray for Fr. Dan.

* Fall foliage in New England!  What a privilege to live amongst all this beauty!

* We spent Sunday afternoon at an apple orchard, although there are NO apples on the trees.  Really, absolutely NONE!  We had an early spring with a late frost, which killed the buds on the trees resulting in a poor apple crop.  This is the first year in a loooong time, that we havent' picked apples.  Oh how I miss that first crisp, juicy crunch into a Macintosh fresh from the tree....mmmmm, nothing else like it.  We ended up going through the corn maze and doing a scavenger hunt.  It was a fun afternoon and we were blessed with glorious weather!

* Loving the fall weather, but am unable to fully abandon myself to the joy because I know what lurks around the corner....I am not a fan of winter...

* We are adjusting to our new school schedule.  Annie is struggling the most, although she is better and not as teary at school.  Speaking of which, I am way past my bedtime...so, good night, all.  I will be back soon!

Field trip

Since my plans for next year will not include homeschooling, the co-op my sister-in-law and I have created will come to an end.  We had a good 3 year run.  I am pleased with the work we did with the kids, and the welcome change of pace the co-op offered us on a weekly basis.  Having to show their work to others provided external motivation for my children and that was priceless.  I believe it improved the quality of their work (and also the timeliness of its completion!) 
Having completed our American History studies, we decided it would be a good end-of-year, end-of-co-op activity to visit our local Indian Museum.  I was expecting the museum to focus on tribes local to our area, namely the Abenaki.  I was wrong!  This museum covered all tribes of North America.  I was impressed!  Unfortunately, we couldn't take pictures in the museum, so I only have pics from outside. 

Some things we learned about Indians surprised and delighted us.  Everything they made, everything, even the most boring, utilitarian item, was decorated.  A quote from a young male Indian said that his "mother's hands created beauty all around him."  He said that it was her way of showing her love and care for her family.  Not just to provide the necessities, but to bring beauty to them in the process. I, also, feel the desire to do this, but I have sometimes felt a bit frivolous in doing so.  For sure, we need to be prudent and not go overboard in the quest for beautiful surroundings, which could lead to overspending and materialism, but I now realize that it is a mother's privilege and, yes, duty, to bring beauty into her family's life.  If we want to lead our children to Christ, who is Truth, Beauty, and Goodness, we must surround them with these very things.  Native Americans, who are sometimes portrayed as 'savages' or 'heathens', understood and lived this so well.
Their beadwork was incredible!  They used brightly colored, glass, seed beads to adorn their clothing. How much time and love went into this intricate work.  I wish I had pictures to show it.  We also learned that the beads came from Czechoslovakia, and were traded to the Indians by Europeans.
We also discovered that their philosophies of life were very pro-life and completely compatible with Catholicism!  They had deep respect for all life, human and otherwise.  If the hunters brought in some food, it was shared by everyone in the tribe: old, young, feeble, those who couldn't hunt and those who did.  In fact, if a hunter was seen taking a rabbit or other game for himself, without sharing, he was severely punished.  They respected and cared for the weakest among them. 
They believed that all living things were connected to each other (of course, they are) and thus, were incredible stewards of the earth and natural resources.  They wasted nothing.

They worshiped God as they knew Him.  Of course, we, who know the True God, would commit a sin if we adopted the Native Americans' spirituality, but they showed genuine reverence and love for the God they knew.
I came away inspired.  We would do well to imitate some of the Native Americans' ways.

The Kiss of Jesus

Congratulations to my dear niece, Victoria. She received Jesus for the first time today. What a special time, what a happy day! Here are St. Therese's words about her First Holy Communion:

"I would not tell you everything, even if I could, for there are certain things which lose their fragrance in the open air, certain thoughts so intimate that they cannot be translated into earthly language without losing at once their deep and heavenly meaning. How lovely it was, that first kiss of Jesus in my heart -- it was truly a kiss of love. I knew that I was loved and said, "I love You, and I give myself to You forever."

Blessings to you, Tori!

Leavings...

I thought this year would be a piece of cake. In fact, I didn't even think much about it at all, assuming, you know, the whole "cake" thing. But, I find myself getting misty, having difficulty swallowing and...hovering. She is packing for college....but, she just got home!!! Summer has sped by at an alarming pace, me running all over creation, toting kids from one activity to the next, while she worked 40 hours per week. But, this is her sophomore year, and it should be easier to watch her go, right?! One thing that surprised me about sending a child off to college is that the leaving is not a one time thing. The big one, the first time you drive off the campus, leaving a piece of your heart behind, is the one we tend to think about, prepare for, dread. Then she comes home at Thanksgiving and we are so happy to have all our children together under our wings again. We hug, we smile, we feast, we celebrate...and then dad drives her off to the airport and I'm misty again. This scenario repeats itself at Christmas and again at Spring break. The "leavings" continue.
But, after she leaves this Saturday, I won't lay on her bed weeping, mourning the little girl she has left behind. And I won't wish for her to come back. She can't stay and fulfill His will for her. I will shed a few tears, most assuredly, but I will thank God for the transformation that is happening in her, for the beautiful, gracious, sweet young lady she has become, and for the amazing opportunities God, in his Goodness and Mercy, has provided for her at Franciscan University. These opportunities require the "leavings". It is His plan.
I will cherish the years we spent at home, reading and discussing Scripture and literature, fussing over math, and that interesting incident regarding a bowl of Shredded Wheat (she knows what I mean....and she exaggerates it tremendously when she tells the story!) I will thank God for the privilege of being her mother, the opportunity to be close to her through homeschooling, and the honor of seeing the promise Our Lord placed in her coming to fruition. I will pray that the angels surround her, and that Our Blessed Mother keep her in the folding of her arms, beneath her mantle, and that our Dear Lord continue to lead her down the path of wisdom, maturity and holiness. I will also pray for the grace to accept and love His holy and perfect will....and the "leavings" it requires.

Baby Borrowers

My family became hooked on the TV show "America's Got Talent" last summer, so we were excited to watch this summer's installment. The show itself has been fine and about what you would expect....lots of bad talent (who tells these people that they should audition??) and some surprisingly great talent. BUT....during this show, a commercial appeared for a new fall reality show called "The Baby Borrowers."
It seems to be a show where teens "borrow" babies to see what parenthood is really like. (Who lends their babies to such a show??!) The commercial started by showcasing teen couples who said things like, "I just love babies", or "I don't think it's hard (to parent)" or "I can't wait to be a mom". Then it cuts to shots of babies screaming, crying and projectile vomiting while the teens melt down. THEN... text appears across the screen as the announcer states, "It's not TV, it's birth control!" That is the precise moment my blood started to boil.
Many people believe that programs such as this, or the mechanical baby project in Jr. high school are great deterrents to teenage pregnancy...perhaps not by promoting abstinence, respect of self and others, or appropriate relationship dynamics, but by making darned sure that these kids use birth control/protection/"safe sex"...after all we don't want them to "ruin" their lives by getting pregnant. Programs such as these send the message that babies are bad, too much work, too expensive, and tie you down. It says that these teens are "worth too much" and "too important" to have their lives impacted so negatively by a baby. It reflects the self-absorbed mentality that permeates our society..."how will this affect me?"

Jennifer F., writing on her blog , "Et tu?", about her conversion experience, describes her (previously) pro-choice mentality:
"The way I'd always seen it, the standard position was that babies were a horrible burden, except for a couple times in life when everything is perfect enough that a couple might temporarily see new life as a good thing; " For the rest of Jennifer's excellent article, go here.

The viewpoint that Jennifer describes is what is being taught, formally or informally, in our schools, legislature and society at large. These are the roots of the "Culture of Death" our dear pope, John Paul II, spoke of. When new life is seen as the "enemy", it is an easy journey down the slippery slope to abortion, disrespect for all human life and the culture of death.
This viewpoint is flawed because it does not recognize a basic truth. Once a child has been conceived, the new mother's first responsibility is the welfare of her baby. It is no longer "all about me." This is the first and most basic change that must take place in a new mom's heart. For me, this was definitely a new way of thinking. I remember my heart feeling like it was flayed wide open with a love so powerful it hurt, when my firstborn entered the world. I believe our Lord used this event to completely change my heart (Thank you, Jesus!). I was a recent convert to Catholicism and grew up with the mentality described above. In an instant my heart was completely and totally changed; not so, my brain. The day to day dying to self began to happen, and I struggled. Not with my love of my baby, but with letting go of habits and ways of being, thinking and acting that conflicted with this new attitude of my heart. It can be a difficult transition.
When we teach our young people that babies are their enemies, we do not prepare them to make this transition in their hearts. We do not prepare them for the routine and lovingly made sacrifices that proper parenting requires (sacrifices that benefit the parents as much or more than the child they are made for). We do not prepare them for parenthood at all. We prepare them to avoid parenthood and anything else that might require self-sacrifice. Our culture and our world need better parents, not more selfish ones.
Certainly, a teenage girl becoming pregnant is a serious situation, and she needs to consider her own future, but I believe better decisions will be made for both mother and baby if we, as a society and as individuals, come to recognize that all human life is precious. Rather than generating fear and disdain of new life, we need to encourage respect and awe. New life is not to be avoided because it is bad, but because it is such a magnificent gift...a gift that we should only accept when we are able to nurture, support and cherish it accordingly. New life, whether a couple's first or fourteenth child, is always a miracle, always a gift, always a blessing and ALWAYS wanted...if not by the biological parents then by eager adoptive parents and most certainly by God. As opposed to seeing the baby as an intrusion into its mother's life, that needs to be "gotten rid of", the baby should be seen as a unique, unrepeatable gift from God who needs to be protected and provided for.
When we change this thought process around, and change our questions from, "How will this affect me?" to "How can I best fulfill my responsibility to this new life?", then, and only then, will our culture begin the slow ascent back up that slippery slope from death to respect and reverence for life.