Leavings...

I thought this year would be a piece of cake. In fact, I didn't even think much about it at all, assuming, you know, the whole "cake" thing. But, I find myself getting misty, having difficulty swallowing and...hovering. She is packing for college....but, she just got home!!! Summer has sped by at an alarming pace, me running all over creation, toting kids from one activity to the next, while she worked 40 hours per week. But, this is her sophomore year, and it should be easier to watch her go, right?! One thing that surprised me about sending a child off to college is that the leaving is not a one time thing. The big one, the first time you drive off the campus, leaving a piece of your heart behind, is the one we tend to think about, prepare for, dread. Then she comes home at Thanksgiving and we are so happy to have all our children together under our wings again. We hug, we smile, we feast, we celebrate...and then dad drives her off to the airport and I'm misty again. This scenario repeats itself at Christmas and again at Spring break. The "leavings" continue.
But, after she leaves this Saturday, I won't lay on her bed weeping, mourning the little girl she has left behind. And I won't wish for her to come back. She can't stay and fulfill His will for her. I will shed a few tears, most assuredly, but I will thank God for the transformation that is happening in her, for the beautiful, gracious, sweet young lady she has become, and for the amazing opportunities God, in his Goodness and Mercy, has provided for her at Franciscan University. These opportunities require the "leavings". It is His plan.
I will cherish the years we spent at home, reading and discussing Scripture and literature, fussing over math, and that interesting incident regarding a bowl of Shredded Wheat (she knows what I mean....and she exaggerates it tremendously when she tells the story!) I will thank God for the privilege of being her mother, the opportunity to be close to her through homeschooling, and the honor of seeing the promise Our Lord placed in her coming to fruition. I will pray that the angels surround her, and that Our Blessed Mother keep her in the folding of her arms, beneath her mantle, and that our Dear Lord continue to lead her down the path of wisdom, maturity and holiness. I will also pray for the grace to accept and love His holy and perfect will....and the "leavings" it requires.