Sunday, August 17, 2008
More on Marital Chastity and State Aid
Thank you to Suzanne at Blessed Among Men for this information. It clarifies Church teaching and reminds us that Charity, in all its forms, is always the most important course.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Vacation
Tomorrow my family leaves for vacation at a nearby lake. We are hoping for time away to relax, rejuvenate and enjoy each other before our oldest returns to college. I will be back next week with pictures and hopefully entertaining and fun stories of our adventures.
NFP is not the Default mode
There has been a lot written recently in cyberspace about Natural Family Planning. And there has been a lot (I mean a LOT!) of debate about its use. I read this article and the comments below it and felt an interior unrest....I mulled my thoughts over for a few days, trying to sort out what was really bothering me.
We have used NFP since after our first child was born, that is to say we know how to use NFP and have used it both to avoid and achieve pregnancies. NFP can be difficult and frustrating at times. It is a source of grace always....BUT, it is not Catholic birth control and is not to be looked at from that perspective. It is to be used to avoid a pregnancy only in serious or grave circumstances...it is NOT the default. I don't think Simcha's article implies that NFP is to be the "norm" in Catholic marriages, but the comments that follow certainly give that impression. Then I read this article by Elizabeth Foss, and found she had put my thoughts into words so much more beautifully than I could have. Some of these thoughts follow:
Early in marriage planning or in the early years of marriage, many, if not most, Catholic couples learn about Natural Family Planning. They learn that NFP can be a real blessing in helping to understand better how a woman’s body works. They learn that it is a valuable tool when trying to conceive. And they learn that it is also very effective when trying to prevent conception. Unfortunately, what they often don’t learn is that abstinence in Natural Family Planning is to be regarded as a privation. Too often, they come away with the belief that using NFP to space babies or prevent them is the default mode for a holy marriage and not the exception.
The word "privation" means 'doing without ordinary necessities'. In other words, privation is used to describe "extra-ordinary" circumstances. NFP is not the ordinary method of operation for marriage...it is a method that the Church agrees is acceptable to use in extraordinary circumstances. We may use NFP...the Church never says we must use it.
Consider these words:
In Covenanted Happiness, Msgr. Cormac Burke writes,
Spouses need to improve in life--to rise above their present worth--if they are to retain their partner's love. It is good therefore--it is essential--that each spouse sacrifices himself or herself for the other. But it is doubtful if any husband and wife, on their own, can inspire each other indefinitely to generosity and self-sacrifice. Children can and do draw from parents a degree of sacrifice to which neither parent alone could probably inspire the other. It is for the sake of their children that parents most easily rise above themselves. Parental love is the most naturally disinterested kind of love. In this way, as they sacrifice themselves for their children, each parent actually improves and becomes--in his or her partner's eyes also--truly a more loveable person. "For the sake of their children, spouses rise above themselves, and above a limited view of their own happiness. Moral stature is acquired only if one rises above oneself. Children, above all, are what spur a couple on to moral greatness." That is why family limitation is not properly described as a right and is wrongly thought of as a privilege. It is basically a privation. It is meant for exceptional cases, for those couples who are obliged by serious reasons--by some powerful and overriding factor--to deprive themselves of the fulfilling joy and the enriching value of children. A couple who, in the absence of such an overriding factor, choose not to have more children, are starving their conjugal love of its natural fruit and stunting its growth. They are lessening their mutual preparedness for sacrifice and in that way undermining the mutual esteem that can bind them together. Open-to-life sexual relations are the normal expression of married affection and alone fulfill the conjugal instinct. To encourage people, without serious reason, to abstain from such relations is to place an unnecessary and unjustified strain on the solidity of their married life. The conjugal instinct, which draws people to marry, is not a mere sexual instinct, nor is it satisfied simply through the companionship and love of a spouse. It looks to the fruit of that love. In other words, people are naturally drawn to marriage by a deep desire for fatherhood or motherhood.
How beautiful! Children help us to rise above ourselves and become more generous, compassionate and lovable people. I have had to "dig deeper" with each new child that was added to our family; thank God for it! Without my husband and children to sacrifice for, to grow for, I shudder to think about the type of person I would be today. Children are a blessing in so many, many ways.
There are definitely times when NFP is necessary in a marriage, (and only the spouses, in prayer and union with God can decide that) but without very serious reasons, it places a burden on the marriage. When confronted with serious reasons, the spouses can use NFP, offer up the sacrifice and grow in grace and love. But when used as the default mode, month after month, it can stunt the growth of marital love. Openness to life, humility and trust in our Lord expand our hearts and our love.
Here are other good articles on NFP:
http://ebeth.typepad.com/reallearning/2006/05/to_improve_ours.html
http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4243&Itemid=48
http://daniellebean.com/2008/08/06/humble-and-heroic/
We have used NFP since after our first child was born, that is to say we know how to use NFP and have used it both to avoid and achieve pregnancies. NFP can be difficult and frustrating at times. It is a source of grace always....BUT, it is not Catholic birth control and is not to be looked at from that perspective. It is to be used to avoid a pregnancy only in serious or grave circumstances...it is NOT the default. I don't think Simcha's article implies that NFP is to be the "norm" in Catholic marriages, but the comments that follow certainly give that impression. Then I read this article by Elizabeth Foss, and found she had put my thoughts into words so much more beautifully than I could have. Some of these thoughts follow:
Early in marriage planning or in the early years of marriage, many, if not most, Catholic couples learn about Natural Family Planning. They learn that NFP can be a real blessing in helping to understand better how a woman’s body works. They learn that it is a valuable tool when trying to conceive. And they learn that it is also very effective when trying to prevent conception. Unfortunately, what they often don’t learn is that abstinence in Natural Family Planning is to be regarded as a privation. Too often, they come away with the belief that using NFP to space babies or prevent them is the default mode for a holy marriage and not the exception.
The word "privation" means 'doing without ordinary necessities'. In other words, privation is used to describe "extra-ordinary" circumstances. NFP is not the ordinary method of operation for marriage...it is a method that the Church agrees is acceptable to use in extraordinary circumstances. We may use NFP...the Church never says we must use it.
Consider these words:
In Covenanted Happiness, Msgr. Cormac Burke writes,
Spouses need to improve in life--to rise above their present worth--if they are to retain their partner's love. It is good therefore--it is essential--that each spouse sacrifices himself or herself for the other. But it is doubtful if any husband and wife, on their own, can inspire each other indefinitely to generosity and self-sacrifice. Children can and do draw from parents a degree of sacrifice to which neither parent alone could probably inspire the other. It is for the sake of their children that parents most easily rise above themselves. Parental love is the most naturally disinterested kind of love. In this way, as they sacrifice themselves for their children, each parent actually improves and becomes--in his or her partner's eyes also--truly a more loveable person. "For the sake of their children, spouses rise above themselves, and above a limited view of their own happiness. Moral stature is acquired only if one rises above oneself. Children, above all, are what spur a couple on to moral greatness." That is why family limitation is not properly described as a right and is wrongly thought of as a privilege. It is basically a privation. It is meant for exceptional cases, for those couples who are obliged by serious reasons--by some powerful and overriding factor--to deprive themselves of the fulfilling joy and the enriching value of children. A couple who, in the absence of such an overriding factor, choose not to have more children, are starving their conjugal love of its natural fruit and stunting its growth. They are lessening their mutual preparedness for sacrifice and in that way undermining the mutual esteem that can bind them together. Open-to-life sexual relations are the normal expression of married affection and alone fulfill the conjugal instinct. To encourage people, without serious reason, to abstain from such relations is to place an unnecessary and unjustified strain on the solidity of their married life. The conjugal instinct, which draws people to marry, is not a mere sexual instinct, nor is it satisfied simply through the companionship and love of a spouse. It looks to the fruit of that love. In other words, people are naturally drawn to marriage by a deep desire for fatherhood or motherhood.
How beautiful! Children help us to rise above ourselves and become more generous, compassionate and lovable people. I have had to "dig deeper" with each new child that was added to our family; thank God for it! Without my husband and children to sacrifice for, to grow for, I shudder to think about the type of person I would be today. Children are a blessing in so many, many ways.
There are definitely times when NFP is necessary in a marriage, (and only the spouses, in prayer and union with God can decide that) but without very serious reasons, it places a burden on the marriage. When confronted with serious reasons, the spouses can use NFP, offer up the sacrifice and grow in grace and love. But when used as the default mode, month after month, it can stunt the growth of marital love. Openness to life, humility and trust in our Lord expand our hearts and our love.
Here are other good articles on NFP:
http://ebeth.typepad.com/reallearning/2006/05/to_improve_ours.html
http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4243&Itemid=48
http://daniellebean.com/2008/08/06/humble-and-heroic/
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
"Uber" College
As I was reading the comment section of a blog post yesterday, I came across some discussions of financial responsibility and how the commenter did not understand the idea of sending one's children to "one of the 5 or 6 uber Catholic colleges" in the nation for a $100,000 The
ology degree. This is actually an issue I have mentally wrestled with (especially as we apply for loans to fund college girl's "uber Catholic" education!!) How will these Theology, Philosophy, Liberal Arts (and ...umm..Drama) majors pay off their loans? Jobs in these fields pay notoriously low wages, as many of them (excluding Drama) are within the Church. This is certainly a legitimate question, but I think there are other valid and important points to consider.
My own college education--four year bachelor's degree--totalled $16,000. Of course, it was a state college, not private, not catholic (neither was I, at that time!)certainly not "uber"! I graduated with a B.S. in Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing. I homeschool my children and only worked in sales and real estate for less than 2 years after we were married, before the children came. It could be said that I am wasting my degree. Honestly, I would have to disagree. The return on my parents' $16,000 investment cannot be determined by monetary means. College broadened my knowledge base. A curriculum advisor told me once that the classes kids complain about and say they will "never" use in the "real world" are precisely the classes that build a "foundation for greatness" (her words, not mine). They give us a broad understanding of the world, its people and its history, and the ability to think clearly, deeply and reason intelligently. I feel college did this for me--not necessarily the "greatness" part, but it opened up my perspective and deepened my understanding of my world and the people in it. I have benefited from my college education and my family has as well, even if it is not in the form of a weekly paycheck.
My daughter attends one of those "uber" Catholic colleges--Praise God!!! Of course we worry about her loans and her ability with a Drama degree (with music and theology minors) to pay it back, but we know without a doubt that the return on this investment will be paid one hundred fold. We have already seen tremendous growth in her in just her first year--socially, academically (dean's list!) and spiritually. In one short year, she has matured beyond what we could have hoped for. The formation she is obtaining at this "uber" college will make her a better Catholic woman, a good role model and example of true beauty; it will eventually make her a better wife and a better mother and these benefits will ultimately have eternal consequences.
My son (almost 16) thinks he would like to go into the medical field--perhaps as an Occupational Therapist or a Physical Therapist. He could attend the local community college for 2 years and get his PTA or OTA degree (while living at home and saving lots of money!) and then transfer to a different college to complete his training. There is certainly nothing wrong with this approach. The kicker is, he wants to attend the same "uber" school as his sister. He could do a "pre-professional" program there, but for a lot more money than the community college. BUT, the "uber" school has just added a new Bioethics department that is very dynamic, and so very important an issue in these days, as we recently discovered. My son is taking a class at a local hospital to introduce teens to the medical professions. During this short class they discussed communication, infection control, privacy issues, CPR and....Reiki, gemstones, crysta
ls (there is "energy" all about us, said his instructor, the Reiki Master!). They also talked about end-of-life issues and debated the Terri Schiavo trajedy (I am so proud of him for standing up for the value of all human life!) These are huge issues in the medical fields!! The benefit of him being trained in this field through this new Bioethics department is priceless. He will need to be grounded in the Truth and in close relationship with the Divine Physician in order to avoid the "new age/mercy killing" propaganda that abounds in medicine.
For these reasons, I think it is a mistake to consider only the monetary benefits of a college education. What about the attorney who "throws it all away" to work with a mission serving the poor? Or the kid who didn't go to college, but develops new software and becomes a millionaire? It just isn't all about money. Kids at these "uber"colleges are being trained to go out into the world and set it on fire by their example and their love. Who can put a price on that?
I don't think there is an easy answer. College tuition is outrageous and the ability to pay off loans is a serious consideration. Especially since these good Catholic young people will very probably be supporting large families in the near future. As with most issues, this one is best decided individually in prayer and discernment before the Seat of Wisdom itself.
ology degree. This is actually an issue I have mentally wrestled with (especially as we apply for loans to fund college girl's "uber Catholic" education!!) How will these Theology, Philosophy, Liberal Arts (and ...umm..Drama) majors pay off their loans? Jobs in these fields pay notoriously low wages, as many of them (excluding Drama) are within the Church. This is certainly a legitimate question, but I think there are other valid and important points to consider.My own college education--four year bachelor's degree--totalled $16,000. Of course, it was a state college, not private, not catholic (neither was I, at that time!)certainly not "uber"! I graduated with a B.S. in Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing. I homeschool my children and only worked in sales and real estate for less than 2 years after we were married, before the children came. It could be said that I am wasting my degree. Honestly, I would have to disagree. The return on my parents' $16,000 investment cannot be determined by monetary means. College broadened my knowledge base. A curriculum advisor told me once that the classes kids complain about and say they will "never" use in the "real world" are precisely the classes that build a "foundation for greatness" (her words, not mine). They give us a broad understanding of the world, its people and its history, and the ability to think clearly, deeply and reason intelligently. I feel college did this for me--not necessarily the "greatness" part, but it opened up my perspective and deepened my understanding of my world and the people in it. I have benefited from my college education and my family has as well, even if it is not in the form of a weekly paycheck.
My daughter attends one of those "uber" Catholic colleges--Praise God!!! Of course we worry about her loans and her ability with a Drama degree (with music and theology minors) to pay it back, but we know without a doubt that the return on this investment will be paid one hundred fold. We have already seen tremendous growth in her in just her first year--socially, academically (dean's list!) and spiritually. In one short year, she has matured beyond what we could have hoped for. The formation she is obtaining at this "uber" college will make her a better Catholic woman, a good role model and example of true beauty; it will eventually make her a better wife and a better mother and these benefits will ultimately have eternal consequences.
My son (almost 16) thinks he would like to go into the medical field--perhaps as an Occupational Therapist or a Physical Therapist. He could attend the local community college for 2 years and get his PTA or OTA degree (while living at home and saving lots of money!) and then transfer to a different college to complete his training. There is certainly nothing wrong with this approach. The kicker is, he wants to attend the same "uber" school as his sister. He could do a "pre-professional" program there, but for a lot more money than the community college. BUT, the "uber" school has just added a new Bioethics department that is very dynamic, and so very important an issue in these days, as we recently discovered. My son is taking a class at a local hospital to introduce teens to the medical professions. During this short class they discussed communication, infection control, privacy issues, CPR and....Reiki, gemstones, crysta
ls (there is "energy" all about us, said his instructor, the Reiki Master!). They also talked about end-of-life issues and debated the Terri Schiavo trajedy (I am so proud of him for standing up for the value of all human life!) These are huge issues in the medical fields!! The benefit of him being trained in this field through this new Bioethics department is priceless. He will need to be grounded in the Truth and in close relationship with the Divine Physician in order to avoid the "new age/mercy killing" propaganda that abounds in medicine.For these reasons, I think it is a mistake to consider only the monetary benefits of a college education. What about the attorney who "throws it all away" to work with a mission serving the poor? Or the kid who didn't go to college, but develops new software and becomes a millionaire? It just isn't all about money. Kids at these "uber"colleges are being trained to go out into the world and set it on fire by their example and their love. Who can put a price on that?
I don't think there is an easy answer. College tuition is outrageous and the ability to pay off loans is a serious consideration. Especially since these good Catholic young people will very probably be supporting large families in the near future. As with most issues, this one is best decided individually in prayer and discernment before the Seat of Wisdom itself.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Reparation
In today's bulletin:
From the Pastor's Desk
Sometime during the early seventies, one of our churches in the diocese was burglarized and the Tabernacle stolen. The thieves were not able to open the Tabernacle, so they threw it in the local river. It was recovered, but their actions were a sacrilege which desecrated the Blessed Sacrament. When actions such as this, which can only be described as reprehensible, happen, there must be reparation. The incident was reported, by the Bishop to Rome. Because the thieves were never apprehended, Rome imposed
the penance of reparation on the priests of the parish and the Bishop. Each was to do a prescribed period of adoration in reparation for the despicable action. The priests and the Bishop were not guilty, but were asked to atone for what was done. They willingly and lovingly did so.
the penance of reparation on the priests of the parish and the Bishop. Each was to do a prescribed period of adoration in reparation for the despicable action. The priests and the Bishop were not guilty, but were asked to atone for what was done. They willingly and lovingly did so.The Eucharist is the source and summit of our existence as the followers of Jesus, of our existence as the Church, of our communion with God and one another. Many may have read of a university professor in the midwest who says that he obtained and desecrated the Eucharist. As disciples, our first visceral reaction is probably of hurt and anger. As the Body of Christ, we are all hurt by such evil. I would first suggest that we all pray for this man. We retaliate with love.
Secondly, out of love for the Lord and His presence in the Eucharist, I am asking as many parishioners as possible to join me in two hour of adoration and prayer on Monday, August 4th from 6-8pm in church. For those who cannot attend, I ask that you say a rosary on that day in reparation.
Thank you for your willingness to help atone for the sins and offenses done to the Lord and His Body.
God bless,
Fr. Shawn
I think this is an excellent response to counter the evil done by the professor. Thank you, Fr. Shawn for your wisdom and deep love of Our Lord.
Great reading for homeschoolers
Kim from Starry Sky Ranch has written 3 great articles on obedience, authority and structure. Check these articles out in my Shared Items box. You won't regret it.
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