On basketball and refereeing

My oldest son decided not to play basketball himself this year, but kept himself busy refereeing his younger brothers' games. The Athletic Director of the local Catholic school has invited homeschoolers and others to play on their teams and she has taught Isaac and some other teenage boys how to referee and has allowed them to ref the younger kids' games. This is Isaac's third year reffing. It has been a great experience for Isaac. Until the tournaments this year.
We had a few teams, one in particular, whose coaches and fans were...horrible. Yup, I debated whether to use that word, but I did. They were horrible. The coaches harrassed the teenage refs throughout the entire game; one even told his girls, "Don't worry about it girls, it is all the ref's fault." What kind of sportsmanship is he teaching?
I mean, I know we all get frustrated with referees. But, this was a 3rd and 4th grade tournament!! Yes, 3rd and 4th grade. Screaming at teenage referees is out of line. I kept wondering how many of these grown men and women would have the guts to do what these teenagers are doing? It is easy to call the game from the bleachers; you are risking nothing. I wanted to hand these people a whistle and tell them that if they wanted to call the game, then show the courage that these teenagers are showing and put yourself out there--free game for insult and ridicule. I doubt many of them would have taken me up on it.
Anyway, it got so bad that the AD had to eject one of the coaches, who then went to sit with his fans and continued to scream and complain about the refs, one of whom was my son. grrrrr. I kept an eye on this guy from the concession stand where I was volunteering. After the game, he was still ranting and raving and went over to say something to the scorekeepers. When he approached the referees, I headed across the gym. He was gone before I got to him, but he told the boys, "I got kicked out because you guys didn't do your job." Of course, this comment was indicative of the way he approached coaching (and perhaps life): blame the other guy, it's not my fault.
By this time, I was livid. This coach had a fundamental misunderstanding of one particular rule and he kept hammering the refs about it, even after they tried to explain where he was wrong. The AD spoke to them and assured them that they did a fine job. This man and his team had had similar issues with other teams. Then, a woman (from this team) approached the AD as we were talking. She asked about the refs and who would be reffing their next game, "...because if these two are reffing again (pointing at my son and his friend), we're not coming." >:\
I am told that steam began to waft from my ears at this point. I lost my composure a bit, and had words with this woman. Without yelling or getting nasty, I let her know that I thought it was appalling that a grown woman would come back into an empty gym in order to insult two teenage boys who, actually, did a good job at a task that many grown men do not want to do. It took me a long time to calm down that night. Sleep was hard to come by....for me. Not for Isaac, though. He took it all in stride.
Scott and I tried to be there as often as we could when Isaac was reffing, because of the ridiculous problems. We both are surprised at how well he handles this tough position. I cannot imagine handling this kind of pressure and verbal abuse at 17 years old without melting into a puddle. He is confident of his calls, speaks with a firm, audible voice and just lets the fans' and coaches' comments roll off his back. I am amazed and so very proud of him.
I asked him the other day how a little boy who used to crumble when I raised my voice at him became a young man who is unfazed by such rude comments flung at him. He said that he is confident in his calls and basically, believes in himself. *sniff* What a kid.
I have pondered this quite a bit and have come up with this theory. He knows sports. I mean KNOWS sports. He got that from his dad who also KNOWS sports. My husband should have been a sportscaster. He will announce the game from the couch and sometimes it is almost as if the real sportscasters on TV are echoing him. He makes the comments before they do. He gets strategy, coaching, all of it. It is all beyond me. Isaac can do the same thing as his dad. This is partly where his confidence comes from. He is confident in his knowledge, and rightly so.
The other part, I believe, comes from being homeschooled. He has participated (quite successfully) in sports at the local high school. He was welcomed and befriended by the coaches, players and their families. We did not have a problem with being rejected because we homeschool. This might be due to the fact that Isaac is an excellent athlete, though. But still, because he was sort of "outside" of the intimate social circle of the public school, and because we live out our faith, which puts us "on the fringes" anyway, he is used to being different, of not having to worry about the total acceptance of his peers and being just like everyone else. He has achieved a comfort level with being a little bit different, while being "totally cool" at the same time, of course;) He is Isaac, plain and simple. My sensitive little guy, who we feared would tend to follow the crowd, is now a self-confident young man, who I have yet to see make a decision based on what the "crowd" is doing. He is a leader, not a follower.We have wondered if Isaac would regret not playing basketball at the high school his senior year. Isaac seems fine with it. I told him that even if the varsity basketball team wins the state championship this year, I think he will have gained more benefit by reffing than by playing on a championship team. He has gained life experience that will help him become the strong Catholic man that God created him to be.
As I watched these basketball games, I have also watched my little boy become a strong, independent young man.
I am so very proud, indeed.